The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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