there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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