Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
