We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
