So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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