So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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