it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
