Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
