Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Small penises have feelings too.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
