im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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