I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
