also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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