I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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