i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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