I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
