I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
