My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
