He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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