You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
never play flip cup with pint glasses
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
