I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
