"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
is it fun? or sober?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
