dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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