Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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