You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
