I think my vagina is haunted
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
