I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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