i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
