apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
