OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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