Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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