We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the night ended with taco bell and tears
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
