I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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