Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
