so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
