He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
