Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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