marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
