Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
