I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
