im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
