i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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