He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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