He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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