I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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