Plan B is the new Plan A
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I love you.
Bad choice
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
