I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
