I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
