he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
