trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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