My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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