I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
