Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
