I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
