You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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