I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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