Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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