pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
