No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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