the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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