definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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