I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
