he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this beer tastes like vomit already
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
