It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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