Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
