So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
