You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
