you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
